“Never limit your view of life by any past experience…It is not a question of failing or succeeding. It is simply a question of sticking to an idea until it becomes a tangible reality.”

~Ernest Holmes, Science of Mind textbook

 

“We ask Him to remove our fear and direct our attention to what He would have us be. At once we commence to outgrow fear.”

~Big Book, How It Works

 

 

Re-boot or Re-pattern?

 

Even though I started drinking alcoholically from my very first drink about age 14-ish, I really didn’t see it as a problem at the time – nor for a long time thereafter. It seemed like fun for most of the decades that I was progressing and experimenting with drugs too.

 

But looking back, from the get-go it was always about more, next, when, where, how… I had found a simple way to instantly feeling funnier, prettier, cooler, more alive, more at ease … Many years later, I gravitated toward the other soccer moms that thought it was a fine idea to put wine in the water cups and go out for margaritas before or after the kids’ game (not during, at least.)

 

For years I had zero desire to change my drinking and partying patterns. It took a long time to break through my denial to see the need, then find the desire to change. It was during that period of shifting awareness that the fun part screeched to a halt. Things went progressively frantic as my decades-long episode was taking a toll. Even so, it took another half decade to actually make the intended change.

 

That was then, and this is now.

Now a huge part of me embraces the concept of change – yet a small scared part of me still seems to resist the changes I say I want.

 

I do believe there is the next greater version of me on deck – just as I know there is also a next greater version of you on deck. How do we get to that version?

 

I know that it takes time, but surely with my awareness, actions, and great expectation I won’t have to wait decades like last time to change– phew, that is good news if I do the math.

 

My beautiful wise friend and mentor Cynthia offered words of wisdom and encouragement: “It’s called re-pattering not re-booting,” kindly reminding me that making bold changes involves a process, not just poof. Past experience tells me that it’s the very process itself that causes the personal growth. Pushing past the fear and made-up resistance, steadfastly repeating new behaviors until they form the new patterns.

I believe it’s done by being mindful of what I want and staying on that wavelength.

 

It’s literally practicing these principles in all of my affairs. What principles? The 12 step principles such as honesty, spirituality, willingness, courage, integrity, awareness – you know the ones.

 

And the basic New Thought principle that there is a power for good in the universe, and we can use it. It’s there for us –we just have to let it. We just have to let ourselves.

Even for those who never set foot in a 12-Step meeting or have never heard of New Thought, these principles tend to resonate deep within.

 

I believe the next change is not only possible but predictable if I stick with those truths and keep living those principles and don’t stop. Intellectually in my head I know it all works. But it’s not enough to re-pattern intellectually from the head.

 

It’s done from the heart and soul. It’s done by giving the old stale patterns and stubborn fears the boot. And a reboot.

 

What would you be doing today if residual restrictive patterns were not in place?

What would you be doing 1 year from now?

What strategies do you use to overcome the small scared part of you that sometimes seem to override the stronger, wiser, more powerful part?

 

 

In gratitude, harmony, and support,

 

 

Re-boot or Re-pattern?

2 thoughts on “Re-boot or Re-pattern?

  • September 15, 2017 at 3:54 am
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    Wow, that sounds so familiar. I to was 13-14 years old and it took about 30 years before the brakes hit. On deaths door, with family being done with me, they brought me to detox where I spent 7 days. They wouldn’t have anything to do with me until I could show them that I was serious about not drinking. One sister insisted that being part of her religious beliefs was the only way to put my life back together. That did not work for me. AA, the12 steps and my own spiritual beliefs have helped me a lot. So almost 3 years sober, I am still trying to figure out who I am. Sad that I lost so many years of my life.

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  • September 16, 2017 at 7:05 pm
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    I am still learning to remember that someone else’s beliefs might not match mine exactly but the common ground of the desire to stop drinking and the opportunity to seek out a Higher Power is enough to start. I think it is a lifelong process once we wake up to really figure out who we are… and it keeps changing sometimes subtly, sometimes more quickly… It’s difficult when someone else insists it has to be done a certain way, typically “their” way… That doesn’t seem healthy. From reading the Big Book I do believe that Bill W truly wanted others to get sober and offered suggestions and tips, not an absolute. Some people to this day take it as an absolute – but I do love AA, the 12 Steps, and Spiritual Psychology of New Thought – and the permission to be one day at a time.

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