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Anonymity

Anonymity

Anonymity is the foundational core and at the very heart of 12-Step Recovery programs. It’s an A, let’s face it.

I recently attended a powerful meeting and, as usual, learned so much. I have always respected, honored, and considered sacred other people’s anonymity. However I was told early in my own sobriety that I could personally choose to be anonymous or not.

Faith

Faith

From early childhood, I always had faith that there was something greater than me out there. I just never realized I was connected to it. The key phrase was “out there.” I was very much “in here”, in my head, intellectualizing, affirming and demonstrating separation. Growing up in a home with slightly more than zero teaching or affiliation with religion, God, or spirituality, I developed a sarcastic and suspicious view of it all, despite the fact that I truly sensed it was real. However, without personal access, I resented it and I resented others who seemed to easily be part of it.

The Obsession Is Lifted

The Obsession Is Lifted

A few months ago, on the evening of my 4th AA birthday, after a day filled with speaking gratitude and appreciation for my sobriety among other things with like-minded people, I sat at a bar in a hotel restaurant to eat dinner. Alone, but not because I orchestrated being alone like I used to in my old drinking days. Alone because it just worked out that way.

Honesty

Honesty

The truth is that for decades, I was a liar. Mainly white lies to be non-offensive, but the urge to lie by omission or flat out misrepresentation grew until it seemed to be my default retort mode. Half truths and untruths came out in response in benign ways like “How much did that tablecloth cost?” to treacherous things like saying “I love you” back when I didn’t.

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