“That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation … the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us… That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition.”
~ Bill Wilson
“Since you are primarily a spiritual and mental being you must rearrange your thoughts to meet, to agree with, to harmonize and unify with this new concept…You are starting out on a great adventure, a wonderful journey. You are guided by love, inspired by truth, and your future will be what you make it.”
~Ernest Holmes, “This Thing Called You”
Obsess No More
One of my loved ones, a normie who met me after I began navigating the road of recovery, noticed a 6-pack of beer in my fridge one day that hadn’t been there the day before. It aroused curiosity (and I later learned some anxiety.) I explained that I bought it for some beer-drinking company I was expecting. That was the end of it for me, but my love admitted to periodically peeking to see if anything had changed with the 6-pack status.
I understand that concern. Though it was definitely the kind of concern that got under my skin in the past when I was extremely defensive about my drinking. But having been restored to sanity, I understand that a red flag could get triggered by a shift in typical behavior, or by the unknown.
I also know that back in the day, I was genius at coming up with excuses so logical that even I would believe them. Though he didn’t know that version of me, I would go to any lengths to get a buzz.
When I was out there, getting my hands on alcohol was not optional. It was mandatory. If I had to travel to the next county, I’d travel. Regardless of distance or what obstacles I had to overcome I’d get it. That “all or nothing” kind of energy existed then, except it was pretty much always “all,” and rarely “nothing.”
Today, sobriety is absolutely going to happen, no matter how close or available alcohol is. It could be open on the table in front of me and I would not touch it.
The obsession has lifted. I am not even obsessed about sobriety – the energy of obsession is gone.
I completely understand and respect that many people in recovery choose not to serve or have any alcohol in their house at any time. To those who choose against serving alcohol at home I say, “Wise choice. Don’t serve it.” To those who choose to steer clear of bars, I say “Wise choice. Don’t go.”
I love the freedom I feel around alcohol. I trust myself to be around drinkers, and I trust myself to be alone, but not because I orchestrated being alone like I used to in my old drinking days. I know I do not have to think about drinking or not drinking.
For me, I know without a doubt that sobriety is my clear and absolute choice. I am able to attain it by keeping spiritually fit.
I am guided by lovingly aligning my will with my Higher Power. I am inspired by my newfound joy through my daily choice for sobriety, in full recognition that my choices today create my future experience.
• Did your obsession for alcohol or drugs lift gradually or in a powerful moment of truth?
• Do you have any obsessive energy about other behaviors or things?
In gratitude, harmony and support,