“My friend suggested what then seemed like a novel idea. He said ‘Why don’t you choose our own conception of God?’”   ~Bill Wilson, Bill’s Story


“There is no way we can know God except by studying man. We know about God only as we judge what God must be.”  ~Ernest Holmes


Father Mother God? We never spoke of God this way growing up. Actually we never spoke much of God at all.  The word God was most often followed by dammit.

My parents had different (though unpracticed) religions from one another, and like their politics, they figured they cancelled each other out. My childlike (though probing and astute) inquiries about the meaning of all the God talk I heard from other kids and society at large were usually answered with a shrug.

Somehow I sensed that whatever God was all about, “he” was very distant in both time and space. I thought God was wrapped up in biblical times, not related to now. And even though I knew very little about the bible other than the very major stories like Adam and Eve, Noah, and the Christ child in the manger, I was suspicious, dismissive, and not buying any of it. None of it made sense or seemed plausible.

Yet that Divine Urge as Ernest Holmes calls it was increasingly pressing over the years. An awareness lurked just beyond my knowingness, and whenever I heard words that went beyond religious tales to reference an intelligence, an inherently powerful protective field, something infinite, I sensed truth.   

I was well into adulthood and already a mom before I even met people who consistently spoke in terms I could resonate with. My first Sunday service at a Center for Spiritual Living (aka Religious Science at the time) gave me the chance to hear words I understood and words I didn’t, but affirming what I intuitively knew. All of this is so much greater than and so far beyond religion. I don’t have to believe the bible stories – but I would love to take a metaphysical bible class someday to learn to understand and possibly appreciate them from a different non-traditional perspective.
I love the exercise I was assigned that goes along with the 2nd Step work in 12 Step recovery that gives free reign to write and describe my concept of my higher power; what I’d like it to be and what it is for me.

Bring on the paper.

Realizing that the feelings, emotions, and impressions of my higher power, and of yours, goes beyond words – that vast power of it is immediately diminished by our efforts to articulate it…but it’s still fun to do it.

The qualities that came forth are beyond gender, beyond stereotypes, beyond what most human fathers and mothers reflect, but what sure enough comes closest to how I perceive my expanding awareness of this infinite power.

It really does feel like a Father Mother God.  

Strength, stability, generous provider, knowing, powerful, trustworthy, integrity, giving. Understanding, kind, compassionate, gentle, nurturing, sensuous, tender, patient, loving, kind, receptive…

It occurs to me that I didn’t speak too much of God to my children while they were growing up.  Never too late.  I want to hear what they think, share what I think, and invite them to write a description of their higher power too.

Write and describe your concept of your higher power; what you’d like it to be and what it is for you. 

Do you enjoy seeking out like-minded friends or acquaintances to share your thoughts with and to hear theirs?

Do you enjoy seeking out friends or acquaintances with differing viewpoints and exchanging thoughts?

Does your concept of your higher power and the infinite nature of your being come from what you were taught or did you figure it out on your own?


In gratitude, harmony and support,


Father Mother God

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