Getting and staying sober can seem like a lot to the newcomer, and sometimes we forget about all the joys that come with it. For example, being surrounded by a group of loving and compassionate people who have been through the same feelings and experiences that we have. We are told from the very beginning of our journey to “stick with the winners” and this is what that means and why you should do it.
Enabling in many ways looks like supporting, but it differs in one main aspect. To enable someone is to protect them from experiencing the full weight of the consequences for their actions. This may sound like what we should do for our loved ones, protect them from the possibility of pain, but when it comes to addiction, this proves to be more hurtful than helpful.
When I hear someone say something like “keep trudging” or use some form of that word, I pretty much know that person is one of us. Based on the often-read and repeated passage from the Big Book “… and you will surely meet some of us as you trudge the Road of Happy Destiny.” I feel a kindred connection when I hear it, and if possible I like to make eye contact – wink, nod.
Exhaustion is a state of being that most moms understand all too well, even if they are not dealing with addiction or recovery therefrom. We have been conditioned to believe that we need to be able to be and do everything…work, raise children, keep a neat and tidy house, be involved in the children’s schoolwork and extracurricular activities and be a seductress in the bedroom. Wonder Woman incarnate. We get tired just thinking about it. Exhaustion affects us physically, mentally and emotionally. And we always seem to put ourselves last.
I know better than to judge others. But I often feel those of us working a program in recovery are higher up the food chain than others who stay asleep to the wonder of it all. I do think we are certainly more evolved – a better way to put it… I am thankful for the dark depths of addiction that made the light of sobriety so much brighter.
Today’s article, re-posted from The Fix, is an enumeration of truths revealed over three years of sobriety. The author, Kelly Fitzgerald, generously shares 100 –– yes, 100 –– points of light. Enjoy!
She runs marathons. She works out. She is a vegetarian. She is fit and trim. She doesn’t look anywhere near her age despite being two years sober and decades not. She is in model physical shape and condition. Except for one thing. That recently discovered total blockage of the widow-maker artery that led to surprise open heart surgery.
She is my best friend since middle school, many decades . . .