Peeling the onion – one giant onion comprised of seemingly infinite layers of thin, translucent resistance, know-it-all-ness, habits, misunderstandings, misinterpretations, the BS of erroneous Belief Systems, and just plain growing beyond the point I have arrived at so far – that is my objective . . . Being comfortable being uncomfortable – I’m starting to learn how. No, I don’t like it. But I am willing to be uncomfortable in my quest to navigate and attain the next phase of awareness. I am coming to believe it’s a requirement.
Lately people in my day-to-day life have battled suicidal thoughts, fallen off the wagon, lost a loved one in a heartbreaking manner, and been painfully dumped. I used to dramatically interpret these types of events, or make some kind of self-righteous judgement. Which I know now is code for: things I feared could just as easily be happening to me.
So much has been spoken, written, and sung about pain as the vehicle to a marvelous experience of healing, even about the reality being beautifully beyond imagination, that it must be true. How wonderful to have that lifeline to hold on to when things are falling apart. Maybe what is happening is that things are just in the midst of falling together.
In general, giving up sounds like defeat. In sobriety, giving up is a gift. Think surrender, letting go. And in the process, finding every wonderful thing waiting on the other side. This week’s guest post from Laura McKowen’s wonderful blog speaks to this idea rather beautifully.
Getting sober is the greatest gift I ever gave myself. It’s my key to being able to enjoy all of the other many gifts of my life – those I have created, those I have attracted, those I have lucked into – and all combos of this interrelated energy. Being sober for me goes so far beyond The Rooms of AA – which I do consider sacred space. I have noticed though that many people seem to operate solely within the AA community . . . But it’s been very enriching and so much fun experimenting with other tribes for myself.
We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experiences can benefit others. The feeling of uselessness and self pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook on life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
Getting and staying sober can seem like a lot to the newcomer, and sometimes we forget about all the joys that come with it. For example, being surrounded by a group of loving and compassionate people who have been through the same feelings and experiences that we have. We are told from the very beginning of our journey to “stick with the winners” and this is what that means and why you should do it.
Enabling in many ways looks like supporting, but it differs in one main aspect. To enable someone is to protect them from experiencing the full weight of the consequences for their actions. This may sound like what we should do for our loved ones, protect them from the possibility of pain, but when it comes to addiction, this proves to be more hurtful than helpful.