My cell phone charger was left behind recently for a 2-day conference away from home. I hadn’t brought my laptop because I figured why schlep it around since I’d have little time to use it… That first morning, heading to the event from the parking garage, I must admit I felt a wonderful sense of freedom and lightness in my being. One less thing to nag at me or call me away from the present moment… That sense of freedom got me thinking. Am I addicted to my cell phone and all that it connects me to?
To quote one of our posts from earlier this year, Recovery Consciousness is “the mindful awareness and realization . . . that we can continue to uncover, discover, and recover that which is ours, but has likely been numbed out and presumed lost.” Lost to “alcoholic thinking” is implicit in that statement. What is alcoholic thinking? Allow our guest post today, curated from the Holistic Recovery Centers blog, to explain.
I stumbled onto Science of Mind before AA. Probably literally stumbled as I was drinking pretty heavily in those days. But I was “fine. (sure.) This New Thought teaching was my entry into self-awareness from a higher place, not from the lowly self-conscious, self-centered, self-judgement-y place that was all I knew. It was the first time I heard in real words “you are whole perfect and complete.” I sensed I was indeed in the perfect place to hear what I was hearing, even though the meaning of what I was hearing was fuzzy. For whatever divine reason, one little corner of my mind bought in. I am sure I celebrated with alcohol or pot to have found something to hold on to, but it was a start.
It was in this moment that I realized there was no way that I could do this alone. I closed my eyes and asked the universe for more strength. With every step I took I had to ask for the power to take another step. And every step granted to me brought me closer and closer to the top of that mountain. I know that it is not my own willpower that carried me to the top… I firmly believe that the universe knew how much I needed this victory to revive my motivation in my own life…. I have to draw power from a source greater than myself, a power that would not have brought me this far just to drop me on my head with the finish line in sight.
Before Recovery Consciousness, thinking and speaking in positive, life-giving ways does not come naturally for most people. What a blessing to be open and teachable, caring and loving, and confident and optimistic in sobriety. As the Promises state, “Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.” What can you add to this list?
Coming to Step Nine of the twelve steps of Alcoholics Anonymous was somewhat daunting, yet easier, as I then had the experience of God on my side. The Fifth Step brought a sense of relief – the beginning of a serene life. For the first time since I was a small boy I felt the presence of God in my life. I knew then that sobriety by itself was not enough, that I desired to be recovered. I knew that the solution was and is a vital spiritual experience and having a relationship with God in whom I trust. Therefore, I had plenty of motivation and desire to adopt the humility necessary to make amends to the people I had harmed – Step Nine.
Skip Instead of Trudge When I hear someone say “keep trudging” or use some form of that word, I pretty much know that person is one of us. Nobody else really says that unless they’re tuned into the
At various points in the past I was in that weak “why me” place? Why did I have to be the one that goes too far and makes the bigger fool of myself? Why did I have to be the one to hurl one more, and one louder, smartass comeback than the other? Why do I have to be the one that can’t remember what happened after that? Why can’t I get addicted to yoga or steamed vegetables? When I finally realized the time had come to plug the jug once and for all, the luminosity of the spiritual light I had been dancing around for a decade came flooding in through that first crack of awareness, acknowledgement, and acceptance. Game changed forever.