There is something so possible, so open, and freeing about a new calendar for a new year. My calendar of choice is the old-fashioned kind I can write in, not the electronic variety, though I am learning to embrace both. Progress not perfection.
Not just in recovery, not just in New Thought and all other wisdom teachings, but in real life, breaking it down to smaller chunks, even to this very instant makes things palatable, tolerable, and manageable.
More than just a concept or pithy phrase, “one day at a time (or ODAAT as I’ve seen it written) is a survival tool. I have spent too much time lamenting some aspects of my past (before actively practicing “accepting the things I cannot change”) and panicking about my future – most always about things that didn’t come to pass…
I came into recovery through the rooms of AA. I immediately loved the program and the energy around the vast majority of the meetings I landed in. A road map was offered within these rooms … something I clutched tightly to. It helped a shaky me step into solid sobriety with a plan and a structure, a format, a time-tested way to proceed, to succeed. I needed something clear cut and specific to direct me, and AA was absolutely that for me.
When I used to hear people refer to their “program” I had no idea what they were talking about. I suppose it can mean different things to different people, but in my pre-sobriety days, what I had going on was a default program. I didn’t even realize it existed, let alone know that it was the main operating system in my life. I was running on the subconscious programming I had picked up, mostly fueled by false beliefs and unskillful behaviors, to put it mildly.
Through Science of Mind / New Thought principles I learn I have always been creating my experience through my infinite connection to my spiritual Higher Power, whether consciously or (most often) unconsciously. Through working the 12 Steps of AA and reflecting back over past experiences, I learn that this power has always had my back even when I was clueless, felt underserving, or tested it carelessly.
Moments ago I was back in time. I dreamed I did a line of coke. It felt too real and so stressful even in my dream. I just woke up and want to write it down while still fresh.
It went like this: I stumbled upon an unbeknownst bag of cocaine in my home. I felt a sudden surge of sneaky adrenaline as I determined what to do. I hurriedly filled up one of those brown glass gram containers that people used to use and maybe still do for all I know.
My friend is having trouble synching her Science of Mind understanding with Alcoholics Anonymous when it comes to saying “I am an alcoholic” in what sounds like affirmative verbiage. A core tenet of 12 Step recovery is saying “I am that”, recognizing and admitting that alcohol has taken a vice-like grip in the physical, mental, and emotional domains and is encroaching upon a balanced and peaceful life.
During the recent Halloween weekend, I felt extra celebratory because it occurred to me that I am no longer wearing a mask. It occurs to me that so often throughout my life from my teens forward I have been.