During the recent Halloween weekend, I felt extra celebratory because it occurred to me that I am no longer wearing a mask. It occurs to me that so often throughout my life from my teens forward I have been.
I’m understanding more deeply that my entire reality is based on how my mind construes, decodes, and deciphers my experiences. Particularly with my sobriety. I love to focus on the fun, happiness, and freedom I now have because alcohol is no longer required as part of the equation. Before, I could not fathom how I could have any fun without it; now I cannot fathom having any fun with it.
Please take a look at this 5 minute video by Film Bilder. Do you know that little guy? Was that you? It sure was me. This short, silent, screening is spot-on. It speaks volumes. When it screened at the Heart, Mind, and Sprit Recovery Conference recently in Breckenridge, Colorado, I knew I was in my element.
Father Mother God? We never spoke of God this way growing up. Actually we never spoke much of God at all. The word God was most often followed by dammit . . .
My childlike (though probing and astute) inquiries about the meaning of all the God talk I heard from other kids and society at large were usually answered with a shrug.
I can tell I’m making progress. (Progress not perfection is the name of the game.) I don’t compare myself so harshly to others anymore. At least I don’t automatically default to a “less than” mode from a “less than” mode. The old me quickly folded in the face of competition, even when no one was competing with me. I was quick to defer, shrink back, not put up a fight – even when no one was fighting with me.
I am a spiritual being having a recovering alcoholic experience. I have no problem affirming that. I am an alcoholic. That is a human condition with a spiritual solution, fix, and antidote.
Cause and effect is what Ernest Holmes talks about as the basis of New Thought philosophy – what I think, feel, and do today (cause) will link me to what I experience in the moments and years to come. (effect) Less focus on what I will experience in the mystery of the afterlife… more focus on the heaven and hell that I will create right here on earth, based on what I produce for myself by my thoughts, feelings, and actions.
This week marks the 1 year anniversary of my mother’s passing. She was well into her 90’s and very clear that her time on this side of things was up. The next adventure beckoned to her and she let it be known she was ready for it, whatever it was, as 95% of the people in her life had done before her. A part of me celebrated her release.