If a picture is worth 1000 words, then a word is worth 1000 pictures.
Since catching wind of this, I am much more selective with my words. In the past, words tumbled mindlessly around in my head stirring up emotions, frequently negative, that could spontaneously combust into a tirade or a tantrum, or simmer as internal gloom, doom, and fear.
Both Bill W and Ralph W (Emerson, that is – who was called Waldo in his circles) used strong words and images to drive home the point that my biggest problem is and always has been …me. The sole common denominator in all of the uncomfortable situations and dis-ease I have ever experienced is none other than …me.
As I get more comfortable writing this blog, talking about it, and inviting others to check it out, I sense a certain reaction sometimes, a pull-back, a silent gulp from those unfamiliar with 12-Step Recovery programs (mixed in with supportive comments for which I am very grateful).
My life training before sobriety was definitely fear based. I was so afraid of fear itself and my presumed inability to manage it, I would deny it completely, or numb it out. All this accomplished in any given situation was to create more fear.
I used to wonder sarcastically to myself why, with my addictive personality, I couldn’t get addicted to meditation. I had always heard meditation was a great pathway to deep inner peace, connection, relaxation – all the things I was seeking but didn’t have the patience to cultivate naturally.
Having an ongoing and ever-deepening spiritual awakening and expansion as a result of these programs, I desire to carry this message to others who seek serenity through spirituality and 12-step work. And as promised, it becomes another pathway to help me stay rooted in my own sobriety and to practice the spiritual principles of AA and universal law in all my affairs, activities, and relationships.
Anonymity is the foundational core and at the very heart of 12-Step Recovery programs. It’s an A, let’s face it.
I recently attended a powerful meeting and, as usual, learned so much. I have always respected, honored, and considered sacred other people’s anonymity. However I was told early in my own sobriety that I could personally choose to be anonymous or not.
A few months ago, on the evening of my 4th AA birthday, after a day filled with speaking gratitude and appreciation for my sobriety among other things with like-minded people, I sat at a bar in a hotel restaurant to eat dinner. Alone, but not because I orchestrated being alone like I used to in my old drinking days. Alone because it just worked out that way.