If I ever doubted that the promises are real and do come true, the events of this week would make a believer out of me. Ten years ago, none of this would have been possible. Nor would my perception be acute enough to appreciate the exquisite nature of divine wisdom.
Turn up the volume. Today, something a little different! To those who have been following along – thank you so much, and please take a brief minute to watch this short video clip that introduces my brand-new Kindle book, Think Right Into Limitless Sobriety Volume III, which is now available on Amazon – and it’s FREE through Saturday!
Early in my sobriety I began to realize that God was the things, or in or behind the things, or had created the things, that I’d loved my whole life. Bach cantatas, all flowers, all birds. The man or woman who suffered and who didn’t complain and who tried to help the next person. Oh—that’s God. The blue heron. The trees that changed color in fall . . .
When I first stopped drinking, I was unaware that it could be possible to enjoy things without alcohol or drugs. The alcohol was the centerpiece of any event I attended, and procuring it or making sure it was available was the first order of business. How wonderful to know that my full sensory enjoyment of simple things has magnified so much more than anything I thought was fun in my blurry, boozy haze of pseudo fun.
Having a problem with alcohol doesn’t always mean that your life crumbles into nothingness. It can look incredibly high functioning too. It can paint its nails and piece together super fun outfits, get a promotion or be a busy mom driving her kids to a plethora of after school activities. Alcohol can be all those things and still be an issue.
I was a high bottom drunk. In my alcoholic, comparison-based mind in the early days, I perceived that as underachieving as an alcoholic. I had no DUIs, no rehab stories, no arrests… I was a high bottom drunk. But therein lies the key word – Drunk. Someone early on told me he was a high bottom too, but “just as sick as that guy living under the bridge.”
When most people talk about seeking spirituality, they are talking about becoming more spiritual or seeking practices that increase their spirituality. My quest is much more basic than that. I am wondering: What does spirituality mean? What is the definition of spirituality?
Even though I started drinking alcoholically from my very first drink about age 14-ish, I really didn’t see it as a problem at the time – nor for a long time thereafter. It seemed like fun for most of the decades that I was progressing and experimenting with drugs too. But looking back, from the get-go it was always about more, next, when, where, how… I had found a simple way to instantly feeling funnier, prettier, cooler, more alive, more at ease … Many years later, I gravitated toward the other soccer moms that thought it was a fine idea to put wine in the water cups and go out for margaritas before or after the kids’ game (not during, at least.)