Turn up the volume. Today, something a little different! To those who have been following along – thank you so much, and please take a brief minute to watch this short video clip that introduces my brand-new Kindle book, Think Right Into Limitless Sobriety Volume III, which is now available on Amazon – and it’s FREE through Saturday!
When I first stopped drinking, I was unaware that it could be possible to enjoy things without alcohol or drugs. The alcohol was the centerpiece of any event I attended, and procuring it or making sure it was available was the first order of business. How wonderful to know that my full sensory enjoyment of simple things has magnified so much more than anything I thought was fun in my blurry, boozy haze of pseudo fun.
Having a problem with alcohol doesn’t always mean that your life crumbles into nothingness. It can look incredibly high functioning too. It can paint its nails and piece together super fun outfits, get a promotion or be a busy mom driving her kids to a plethora of after school activities. Alcohol can be all those things and still be an issue.
As I look back to those days when alcohol worked its magic, I can see how it was my go-to stress reliever. I didn’t look within for the source of my stress. That would have violated my personal creed: Only the unexamined life is worth living. All I knew was alcohol rounded the edges of my stress and allowed me to stuff it away. What I failed to understand was this avoidance pattern only intensified my stress and anxiety. What I resisted persisted. So the cycle would begin again after the next day of work. On and on. Finally, I couldn’t drink enough to silence the strident voices of my stress.
I was a high bottom drunk. In my alcoholic, comparison-based mind in the early days, I perceived that as underachieving as an alcoholic. I had no DUIs, no rehab stories, no arrests… I was a high bottom drunk. But therein lies the key word – Drunk. Someone early on told me he was a high bottom too, but “just as sick as that guy living under the bridge.”
When most people talk about seeking spirituality, they are talking about becoming more spiritual or seeking practices that increase their spirituality. My quest is much more basic than that. I am wondering: What does spirituality mean? What is the definition of spirituality?
Throughout the history of music, even recently with the deaths of Chester Bennington and Chris Cornell, there’s developed a pattern within our entertainment culture. A pattern made up of artists, their demons, and the perpetual narrative of substance abuse. It’s been apparent for years that we glamorized musicians’ partying nature with the notable slogan “sex, drugs, and rock and roll.” This mantra itself has become a direct example of how prevalent the drug culture is in relation to musicians and their art. Many artists’ stories have ended tragically, with their demons on display for the whole world to see; their histories, struggles, and depictions of abuse publicized because it’s shocking, and an easy narrative to tell. But similar tales don’t always have to end in tragedy.
When I first stopped drinking, I felt naked and afraid without a glass in my hand. I actually thought I was overly conspicuous, and it warranted an explanation. At first, I shifted to sparkling, spritzer-like things with a twist and a straw. My sponsor told me she just orders diet Coke. That didn’t seem right. Over time I have actually become comfortable with water, sparkling water, or even nothing at all!