I sense new perspectives, new insights, and deeper awareness ready to be born through me, ready to be nurtured into a thriving existence. As I peer into the beautiful and enchanted month of May, the month that honors the female energy, I see Mother Nature expressing fully, naturally, and vibrantly right now, and so am I…
I once heard a woman who was leading the closing prayer at a meeting say these words as we joined hands: “I place my hand hand in yours because together we can do what I could never do alone.” We
I see triggers and forces all over the place. Or, if I am paying attention, I can choose to see them as reminders that when I’m aligned with my Higher Power, and the Divine Infinite, I am free. I can choose not to engage in that behavior, verbal exchange, sweet treat, cocktail, or even thought – I can do a contrary action or no action at all.
With almost two decades of experience with Step 3, I can say that my concept of a Higher Power has changed a million times. My willingness to turn things over perpetually waxes and wanes, but I have consistent proof that I have always been taken care of, that I always get what I need, and when I seek God’s will for my life and make my spiritual pursuits more important than my human desires, my life evolves in a way that is nothing short of miraculous.
In this month of April Fools, I can now look at my foolishness and not have it sting so much. I am an alcoholic. If I drink I am a fool. If I don’t I am powerful… When I was drinking, it was supremely important to me that people didn’t laugh at me, didn’t think I was foolish even though I consistently proved I was. It triggered in me my own belief that I was a damn fool. This is I guess why the 4th step and any shadow work we do is so helpful … to diffuse the hot button so that when a memory comes, it no longer stings, burns, or hurts.
I have been sober for over 45 years, and a student of Science of Mind for 40 years, so when I was invited to write about Recovery Consciousness, I thought, “Sure, that will be way cool!” But then, when I sat down to actually write, my thought was, “What the heck is recovery consciousness?” In fact, what is consciousness––period? I hear that word often in New Thought circles, often posed as the question: “What is your level of spiritual consciousness?”
By no means a complete list–really just a beginning, and I’m sure I’ve omitted some obvious ones. Feel free to add your favorites; I just like the number 12. Whether I pick up any of these to read a page, paragraph, chapter, or the whole thing, I always come away re-minded.
For me, recovery from love addiction has been a slow, less-than-perfect practice. Though stopping all addictive patterns at once is what’s recommended, this wasn’t my path. The biggest tool that 12 step recovery for sex and love addiction gave me was that it taught me to become aware of my thoughts, and to realize how obsessive thinking leads to compulsive behavior. While some people might be able to “get away with” carrying on emotional affairs, I can’t. For a sex and love addict, even seemingly innocent flirtation is not innocent. The moment I feel myself triggered, I disengage.