I’m a sober mom. I don’t drink alcohol. Ever. I went through my sh*t, dug myself out, and am now a mom in recovery. It’s been the most challenging work of my life, but I’ve gotten to a point where I’m so grateful for everything I’ve been through. I appreciate the little things in life more than I ever have before, and I have emerged as the best version of myself. Still, being in recovery can feel lonely at times. And being a mom in recovery? Maybe even more so. Here is what I want you to know about my life as a sober mom.
Father’s Day card shopping was always stressful. I’d go through dozens of cards. Nothing fit. All I wanted was one that said Happy Father’s Day, period. But those were scarce. Mostly they dripped with sugary sweet sentiments like “Dad, you are the beacon of our family,” “You always had time for me and showed me how things were done,” or “You taught me right from wrong.” And the clincher: “I hope when I grow up, I’ll be just like you.” That was the last thing I wanted. But, ironically, that’s exactly what happened.
Medical, legal and cultural language evolves. In healthcare, person-first is replacing problem-first language. This isn’t hyper-liberalism; studies verify that person-first language promotes dignity and diminishes stigma. “Disabled people” or “the disabled” is problem-first language. Societal norms dictate“persons with disability” is less stigmatizing. We call ourselves alcoholics in AA. Outside our meeting doors, caregivers address us as “persons with alcoholism” or“persons with alcohol use-disorder.”
Circumstances can derail us temporarily, even though it doesn’t feel temporary to me when I’m in that space. All the pithy phrases that roll through my mind can ring hollow and sound trite when my pendulum is swinging the other way––quite unlike their tone when I’m feeling confident, on top of the world, and in the flow. But even in my sometimes sarcastic mind, I do know the principles are pure and true. They stand strong when I feel weak. They will be there waiting for me when I am ready to let their truths back in.
You may know the 12 steps through AA or NA . These steps can be applied to any organization or group. Most religions have taken the 12 steps and given them a spin, incorporating their ideals. This makes for a creative and personalized way to relate and integrate into your life. Below are the 12 steps adapted to fit Buddhism. Perhaps you may find some connection to this version of the well-known steps.
There are times when the question “What do you mean you don’t drink? Why not??” comes up. Recognizing that not everyone gets it, and I really don’t feel the need to explain anymore, I still sometimes want to say, “No, really it’s OK, in fact it’s better than OK – being a sober alcoholic in recovery is magical, it’s beyond my wildest dreams.” I looked up the definition of “sobriety.” No wonder people are distressed for me. Words like: somberness; solemnity; seriousness; sedateness; staidness; subdued; grave demeanor were there.
At New Thought Sobriety, we are great fans of Tommy Rosen––author, yoga teacher, and founder of Recovery 2.0! Tommy was interviewed this week on The SHAIR Podcast, and we are excited to re-post that episode for our followers. How can a person can get from a rock bottom life in addiction to an extraordinary life in sobriety? Just listen to Tommy Rosen’s story of true transformation.
Prayer Treatment: The Seed of Creativity Right here and right now as I receive this current breath, I fully sense the powerful underlying and overriding presence of the one Universal Intelligence. I am infused with this Infinite Power.